Cuffing Season Is in Full Swing ‒ 7 Tips to Create a Relationship That Lasts

Summer flings have long gone with the changing seasons, and now you’re looking for someone to hunker down and share the cold, dark, winter nights with. That’s cuffing season: the time from October to March when people want to be “cuffed up” with someone (in a semiserious relationship to get them through the winter).

Lack of sunlight and freezing temperatures seem a bit more bearable when you have someone by your side. The holidays are another reason cuffing season exists – family gatherings are often less stressful with a partner. Plus attending parties with someone on your arm often quiets needling questions from nosy relatives about your love life.

Whatever your reason, cuffing season can have its benefits and drawbacks. It all depends on what you want out of this particular kind of relationship.

Short-Term vs. Long-Term Relationships

Cuffing-season relationships don’t have to end when the weather gets warmer, though they often do. And just because this is a short-term relationship doesn’t mean it can’t make you happy or teach you something about yourself. Both short-term and long-term relationships offer room for growth, both as an individual and as a partner.

Benefits of a short-term relationship

Short-term relationships (like those in cuffing season) are about having a good time with someone for a short time. Whether that’s preplanned or because the relationship fizzles out, short-term relationships offer a connection with another person and the opportunity to explore different experiences.

These relationships can help rebuild your self-esteem and get you excited about dating after a breakup or difficult time. Short-term relationships can be less stressful, because you aren’t putting pressure on where the relationship is going. They also allow you the chance to date different types of people whom you might not see as long-term partner material.

Benefits of a long-term relationship

Long-term relationships mean you’re in it for the long haul, however long that may be. The time spent together allows you to build a deep, intimate connection with your partner ‒ possibly the most profound connection you’ll ever have.

Relationships like these offer support from someone who knows you – really knows you – and you’ll learn to solve problems as a team. You’ll experience life together, growing both as individuals and as a couple, and learn from each other. A long-term relationship with a true, loving partner also offers health benefits: Studies show that married people, particularly men, are less likely to die from heart disease or stroke.

Seven Tips to Build a Healthy, Lasting Relationship

Plenty of cuffing-season relationships have blossomed into long-lasting partnerships, which usually means that each person commits to putting in the work. If you’re looking to transition your cuffing season link into a meet-your-parents, share-a-Netflix-account, adopt-a-pet-together relationship, here are seven tips to help you build a lasting relationship.

1. Be honest.

“Honesty is the best policy” applies to just about everything, and definitely applies for relationships. Be honest with your partner about what you’re looking to get out of this relationship, what you need from them, what you want from them, and what you’re willing to give. If the two of you are on the same page, you can avoid confusion about the trajectory of your relationship.

2. Communication is key.

Everyone communicates differently; the key is figuring out how you and your partner each communicate. Recognizing and accepting your communication styles can help you navigate conflicts as a couple with empathy and understanding. Talking things out and truly speaking to each other are the most effective ways to resolve conflicts.

3. Learn their love language.

A very important form of communication, love languages are the different ways in which you receive love and show love in any significant relationship, including romantic relationships. How we choose to show love and wish to receive love can be very different, and it’s important to be able to understand these differences in order to meet the needs and hopes of those you care for – as well as have your own needs met!

4. Conflict is good, but make it “healthy.”

Arguments are normal, especially in long-term relationships. Addressing small issues early on can help avoid big, messy blowouts later in the relationship. During disagreements, focus on the facts and how you feel about the situation, not how you perceive your partner’s reaction and feelings. If you’re the type of person who needs to take a breather during these kinds of situations, do what you need to do to show up as your best self.

5. Pick your battles.

More often than not, you and your partner will need to make certain compromises to make the relationship work. It’s important to know when to compromise, however. Where to eat dinner tonight? Sure. How long to spend with your family over the holidays? Of course. Whether you want to have children? Maybe not. It’s about figuring out what’s most important to you in the long run instead of in the heat of the moment.

6. Be ready to put in the work.

The reality is that long-term relationships require work. When you enter a partnership, you’re committing to building a relationship where you and your partner both feel secure and supported. From prioritizing healthy communication to pursuing continued personal development, long-lasting relationships aren’t always easy – but they’re worth it. When there’s a disconnect, a miscommunication, or some other issue that needs to be addressed, a family and marriage therapist can be a great tool. They can provide strategies for resolving conflict and lend an unbiased ear for listening and guidance.

7. Avoid comparisons.

Social media has made it hard not to compare your relationship to those you see online, but comparisons often do more harm than good. The images you see on your feed are only a snapshot – a moment in time – and usually do not reflect the behind-the-scenes reality of the relationship. Focus on yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and you’ll be better able to find what makes you both happy.

Here for a Good Time ‒ and Maybe a Long Time

So do “cuffing season” relationships have to end when the season draws to a close? Of course not. If you’re happy with your relationship, it doesn’t matter when it starts.

Every relationship you have will teach you something about what you’re looking for in a partnership as well as something about yourself. Whether that relationship is just for “cuffing season” or ends up being The One, you’ve got an opportunity to learn.